losing grip
by bella cullen55
Summary: song fic the song is losing grip by avril lavigne


**Losing grip**

Are you aware of what?

You make me feel, baby

Right now I feel invisible to you

Like I'm not real

Didn't you feel me lock?

My arms around you

Why'd you turn away?

Here's what I have to say

_Did he know how I felt? I had loved him for a while now but had told nobody. I would be sitting across the room from him and would find myself staring at him, just like I was now. My heart skipped a beat when he looked at me. He saw that I was looking at him and walked over to me. He had seen me, he walked over to me and asked me why I had been watching him, I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about. I walked away._

_I don't know what made me do it but after everyone else went to sleep I went over to Fang and sat by him. We talked for a bit and I kept shifting closer to him trying to have him not notice, he did but didn't say anything about it. Out of nowhere he hugged me. I loved it; everything about it was so perfect. The hug seemed to last forever and I still tried to make it last longer; I locked my arms around him so it would be harder for him to get me to let go of him. When I let go, Fang said nothing and left me there to think about what had just happened._

_As I was thinking back I realized that I hadn't been the only one acting weird around the other. He had been acting weird around me for the last while, but I had never noticed till now when I looked for it. I had to keep my cool though because the others looked up to me and today we would be flying a long distance so I couldn't show any weakness._

_After about 4 hours of flying we decided that we would stop and rest, mostly because the younger ones were starting to fall asleep in the air. We set up camp and I took the first watch, Fang soon came over and sat with me but acted like I wasn't there at all. I couldn't help but to look at him and he saw me look at him with curious eyes and he knew it as well as I. I loved him; the last thing to do was to get him to say the same. So to try and get something out of him I asked him why he had hugged me the night before. It was weird when he said that he felt like it but I knew it now that it was true but how to get him to say so. But how Fang could hold onto anything he puts his mind to._

_I was left to cry there _

_Waiting outside there _

_Grinning with a lost stare _

_That's when I decided…_

He just looked back at me, I should have seen it coming but out of nowhere he kissed me. The kiss startled me for a few seconds but after that I was able to relax and enjoy the kiss as it was meant to be. He put his hands on my hips and I put mine around his neck and started playing with his ever messy hair. I felt as if it was only me and him in the whole world, nobody else mattered. It ended as quickly as it had started and Fang went back to being on look out. He looked back at me as he took a leap and went off flying.

When he returned the only thing he said to me was that he would take the next shift and that I should go to sleep. How did he expect me to be able to sleep after he had kissed me like that, but I went to check on the others and find my own spot anyway.

I was lying not to close to the others but out of hearing distance, for all but Iggy and his extra super hearing. I didn't fall asleep but I sat there and started to cry. I sat there until the others started waking up and so I had to get ready for yet another day.

When we left Fang held me back so we could talk about what had happened between us last night, as if I wanted to talk about it. I could feel the others staring at us and didn't like it at all. Fang told me that he didn't like me that way and didn't know why he did that. I was so mad, hadn't he figured out how I felt yet I knew the others were starting to figure it out already; Nudge wouldn't stop talking about it and was getting annoying. It caught me off guard when Fang asked me how I felt about him. How could I answer that question and not tell him I totally loved him, I would never be ready to tell him that. I told him that he was a very close friend and nothing more. As I caught up with the others I could hear Nudge laughing with Iggy, knew what they were talking about.

We decided to stop in a clearing that we could see up ahead and camp there for the night. We all set up camp without talking too much to each other and found some food for the day. I noticed that Fang had left for another fly like before but thought nothing of it and I sat down to think about what had happened the past few days. When Fang showed back up he came over to me and sat with me. He paid no attention to me at all and only watched the others. After a few minutes he asked me again how I felt about him and I answered the same as before. I knew that I had to tell him after that and so I spilled, I told him everything even that I loved him. He didn't look at me the whole time I was talking.

_Why should I care?_

_Cause you weren't there _

_When I was scared_

_I was so alone_

_You need to listen _

_I'm starting to trip _

_I'm losing my grip _

_And I'm in this thing alone_

Fang seemed to be listening but only what he had to listen to. I hate it when people do that because it was very hard for me to tell him that, it hurt a lot. After I had told him everything I could was when I heard it, flyboys. But this time was different when they swarmed they all went for me and only me. While the flyboys caught me; not very easily but they did get me. I could hear everyone's voices getting softer and softer, till I heard nothing at all.

The next thing I remember is waking up with the while lights of the school. My instincts went off and again I started to fight. The scientist came over to me and gave me antistatic to calm me down. He told me I was the only one of the flock at the school. The day dragged on and on but I knew that after it was all over the rest of the flock would come save me, they did.

The first clue was the bombs going off outside in the hall than it was motor mouth, Nudge. When they found me I did a head count; Angel, Gazzy, Iggy, Nudge, who was missing, none other than Fang. The others didn't want to get into it, at least not there. We al got out and started to fly away when I heard Iggy and Gazzy giggling. BOOM!! As I had thought more they had planted more bombs. We went to a patch of woods where we found Fang.

After the others went to sleep I pulled Fang aside and asked him, point blank, why he had not come to help save me his answer, he didn't feel like it at the time. I ripped him a new {insert swear word here} hole for that statement and I reminded him of what he had done in the past few days. This time I made sure he listened, but he was still non-emotional at what I had to say. After I was done with him he had the first look out so he left and I sat there thinking about what Fang had been thinking when the others left. Fang had been the person who I would go to for help but I could see I was in this alone and he wouldn't help me anymore. So I was going to have to have to make it look even better for the little kids.

_Am I just some chick_

_You placed beside you_

_To take somebody's place_

_When you turn around _

_Can you recognise my face_

_You used to love me _

_You used to hug me _

_But that wasn't the case_

_Everything wasn't okay_

The next day I couldn't help but think about Fang. I kept coming up with questions that were impossible for me to answer. I admitted to myself for the first time that I did like him but did he like me the same? Did he know me in a way that no one else did? We had lived together since we were kids and seemed to know each other very well but did we know each other?

Fang and I had been like siblings for as long as we could both remember. We seemed to be able to read each others minds like Angel could, but we couldn't. We had sort of been in a relationship before but not fully. It was completed. The others didn't know but when they were asleep we would be up talking to each other and it grew to where we were hugging and kissing but nobody was the wiser.

I had to talk to Fang. I went over to him and he looked at me for only brief seconds and looked away again. I sat down with him not saying anything for the first bit once I had relaxed a bit and I asked him if he ever loved me. He looked over at me confused and told me that he always loved me but as a sister not anything more. When I brought up the fact that we had once basically been dating he got very quiet, quieter than he had ever been in his life. I asked him if he loved me then and he answered that he had _always_ loved me as a sister _nothing _more. You'll never know what that feels like. It made me mad, sad, and frustrated all at the same time.

I left him there to sit and think and went to where I was going to sleep. I knew that I wasn't going to go able to sleep but sat there and cried. I had loved Fang and still did and he had never loved me. He had been with me just to be with me, and to get attention for himself. He wanted to take over my job in the flock and he must have thought that if he got close enough to me he would get my job if anything happened to me.

_I was left to cry there_

_Waiting outside there_

_Grinning with a last stare_

_That's when I decided_

He didn't talk to me for a day but it felt like forever. We had never, not talked for even an hour because we mad at each other. We had never been mad at each other even when the flock spilt up. How could he have said that to me like turned to see him walking toward me. He asked me if I was okay and why I had been crying (as if he didn't know) but I answered him none the less. He asked me if I could come for a fly with him and I accepted after a minute of thinking to myself.

After we had flown about a mile or so away from the others was when Fang started his descent and I followed him down, why had he asked me to come with him? Was he needing to tell me something he didn't want the others to know? When we landed was when he just turned to me and told me how he really felt. He told me that when I had asked him how he felt about me he knew that someone else was up and he wasn't ready to tell the others how he felt about me yet, I felt the same way. He kissed me and hugged me and told me that he loved me with all his heart. He loved me he really loved like I loved him.

We both decided that we had better be getting back to the others so that they wouldn't get worried about what had happened to us. As I took off I looked back to see Fang looking up at me, I couldn't help but look to his eyes they had softened. I yelled down to him to hurry up and get up in the sky already, he smiled and told that he liked it on the ground. I knew what I should do, I clutched my left wing and fell straight down as if I was hurt, but it got him off the ground. As soon as his feet left the ground I shot up and was gone. I looked back at him and knew was to get back and it would be bad, we chased each other to where we had left the others.

Fang beat me to the clearing. I saw his face drop as he saw that he was standing right in front of angel. She looked from Fang to me then turned and ran to none other than Nudge, the secret was out.

The rest of the day was full of the others questions if what Angel had said was true. We both looked at each other after like the millionth time Nudge had asked, we both said it was in fact true at the same time. The rest of the flock were either shocked or exited or both.

_Why should I care_

_Cause you weren't there _

_When I was scared_

_I was so alone _

_You need to listen _

_I'm starting to trip_

_I'm losing my grip_

_And I'm in this thing alone_

The next morning after everyone had gotten up I went and asked him if we could go for a fly. As we were flying I asked him why he hadn't come to save me from the school with the others. He looked at me then looked to the ground about a mile down. I watched him sweep down toward the ground gracefully and landed not kicking up any dirt as he did so.

By the time I had landed (not so gracefully) Fang had already sat down by one of the nearby trees and I could hear him crying. I went over to him and sat next to him. He started telling me how he had thought that I was died and so he didn't want to pick up my lifeless body with the others with him. I set there listening to what he had to say and there to comfort him while he was crying which was not Fang at all.

When he was done telling me he straightened upward tried to make it look like he had never been crying. I was kneeling now but steached to relax someone I leaped onto him and hugged and kissed him. I loved the shocked look he got on his face when I did this but he relaxed and put his arms around me. I would never leave him alone ever again. We stayed away from the others for quite a while but they wouldn't be worried other than Iggy but he was good at hiding it from the others, like me.

We had kissed before but never like that. It was so perfect in so many ways and so wrong in the same ways. Fang's hands were magic he knew where to put his hands to make it better for me as we went on and we kissed over and over at the same time. He seemed to love to play with my wings and that felt so very good for me. I was able to fully relax for the first time in a very ling time. Fang had lost his shirt a while ago and I knew that I wouldn't let it go too far and that was my choice. We both stopped when we heard Iggy calling us and we straightened each other up (don't know why seeing as Iggy's blind but whatever) and started flying and almost crashed into Iggy at the same time.

_Crying out loud_

_I'm crying out loud_

_Crying out loud_

_I'm crying out loud_

_Open your eyes_

_Open out wide_

I swirved to miss Iggy just to crash into Fang we both fell to the ground. Fang made it so that I would fall on top of him so he would be hurt worse than me but it still hurt when we hit. Iggy knowing what had happened came down to us to help us back up. But he came down he landed on us. I don't know which hurt more the hard landing or Iggy's landing.

Iggy said sorry and got back into the air as fast as he could yelling back at us that we had to get back to camp ASAHP (as soon as humanly possible) and left us both there alone. But we both thought that we should get back to the others. As we were flying back we were talking about what the others kept asking us and we had soom weird questions asked of us. We also compared how we answered them, we were doing good with keeping our stories straight. How was it that we always seemed to know what the other was thinking.

When we got back to camp we found that the others were _all_ getting along and not fighting at all, something had to be wrong with them. Angels little voice came into my head at that moment in time and told me that the others had been planning a surprise for me and Fang for when we got back. And then out of my mind she yelled "surprise," along with the others all at the same time. Fang and I looked at each other for a spit second and we knew what we were going to do for the others.

The others all yepped and yelled when it happened (Gazzy told Iggy what was happening). We had kissed for the first time when the others could see us and from the sound of it they liked it. The kiss was way better than any other we have ever shared. When we were finished the others were both shocked and exicted at the same time. Nudge was of coarse the first to speak. She screamed with exitement and said that we could now be a real family with a mother and a father. Fang looked like he was going to be sick, when he noticed that I was looking at him he instantly did his best to look right but didn't do the best. I could tell he was nervous but I knew would be able to rise to the challenge, he always did.

After the kiss the others wouldn't stop talking about it, mostly Nudge, who said that she had seen more than just a simple kiss, that it was deeper. Fang by the time it was time for the others to go to bed, had gotten used to being the second leader and was doing a good job.

_Original changed_

_Why should I care __**why shouldn't I care**_

_Cause you weren't there __**cause you were there**_

_When I was scared __**when I was scared**_

_I was so alone __**I wasn't alone**_

_You need to listen __**you still need to listen**_

_I'm starting to trip __**you catch me when I trip**_

_I'm losing my grip __**I'm gaining my grip**_

_And I'm in this thing alone __**and I'm in this thing with you**_

Sorry but here I need to change the song. _Why shouldn't I care/ cause you were there/ when I was scared/ I wasn't alone/ you still need to listen/ you catch me when I trip/ I'm gaining my grip/ and I'm in this thing with you. That is much better. _

I loved Fang and now everyone knew that he also loved me. Instead of taking different lookouts we would try to get the same one or hang with each other anyway. I knew that he would come and help me when ever I needed help or when I was scared.

After a few days I realised that I was never really alone but I had made myself feel alone because I wouldn't let him in. We had a lot to talk about even though we had known one another since we were little we had both kept things from the other. We would both sit with the other and listen to what the other had to say and offer advise. I had found out a lot about him and he had learned a lot about me. And now that we fully knew each other strengths and weaknesses why should we not be able to fight together better than before.

The others were still adjusting to having to listen to Fang as a leader but were getting better with it. The last few days I had been having Fang be the leader to get more practice at it.

You should have figured out by now what else happened. Fang and me got married and have some children. Iggy got together with Nudge and they also had children. Everyone in the flock has been married and has children. But we are still a team and we're in this together till the end.

THE END


End file.
